S.A.D = Social anxiety disorder

Heya peeps. Been awhile since i've blog lets recap what i've missed.

Firstly, my attachment is finally over. Gonna miss working there. Although I did nothing but played with phones and surf the net, which by the way is my job. Yes I am paid to play with handphones and surf the net. What more can i ask for. On my last day of my attachment, the company held a christmas lunch cum farewell dinner for me at Shangri la hotel. I was overwhelmed. The place was huge and beautiful. I mean what could you expect form a 5 star hotel. Had an all you can eat buffet and boy i ate till i really drop. Haha. Actually i dropped the ice cream container cover and it made a hell of a noise. At an instant all eyes were on me and my company went "Orh!!!!!!!!!!!!!" My face went beetroot. After lunch we headed to Marina South for a game of bowling and pool. Played one of my best games. A personal best of 143. It aint much but still my personal best. Really gonna miss those guys. I overheard my supervisor talkin to my LO over the phone saying I might be sent back to the company to help sent up *mScope for the school website. Haiz

Secondly Taufik is the first SIngapore Idol. Yeah and to think that he came from Singapore poly. Congrats man. He's really a nice guy. Mommy's boy. My cousin met him over at the "IKHLAS" concert. My sis got his picture and autograph. I juz wish him happy birthday. Funny guy also. Gave advice to my sis to study hard. So yeah she practically melted like a candle.

Thirdly Life so far have been funny for me. LIke a roller coster. More like an emotional roller coster. Family, friends, my social life and myself. The other day my parent were arguing in the living room about going to johor for a wedding and she was like telling him to look at the map and my dad was like saying the map was sufficent and what not. I was there in the living room watchin TV. Felt like screamming tellin them off it is juz a stupid map and why dont we go as a group with my other aunts who know the way. Friends well a lot of things to say ah. But i dont wanna say all. Im kinda losing some but at the same time gaining new friends. I guess you lose some and gain some along the way. AS for my social life. Haiz its a goner. She has someone, already. kinda stumble upon it. What to do. Life's like that. Then there's another 1. She too has 1 already and there's also a third and yup she too has 1 already. 1 of them knows my feeling towards her the other 2 dont. SO far I've been nice to them. I mean extra nice. Help them with their problems. Talk to them regularly. Well maybe its in my nature. Im juz too nice. Cant help being helpful and nice. But people doesnt seem to notice. They only come to me when they need help and when its ok, they forget about me. WTH. Haiz nvm. Im juz a tool anyway. Like those comfort toys where u only confine to when ur down and when to dont need it u juz chunk it to one side. Nobody notices you anyway. Same goes with my friends. Cant really talk without being made fun off. Its like every word i say is a joke. I dont mind being made fun of once in awhile but this is too much. ITs all the time and when I dont talk, i keep quiet, they say i merajuk lah and bunga lah and whats nots. HEY COME ON LAH!!! YOU MADE ME THIS WAY!!! YOU LEAVE ME NO CHOICE!!! SO AS NOT BE HURT I'LL KEEP TO MYSELF THANK YOU VERY MUCH.... haiz Can't help feeling that i might end up single. LIke some of my cousins. 30 plus, 40 plus still single. What to do, life's like that

Today's the first day of school and the swine of a lecturer made full use of the 2 hours and teach without break. Walau comeon 1st lecture and without any books how do you expect us to concentrate. GRRRRRR........

THATS IT I'VE OFFICIALLY BLOWN MY TOP.... BUT i let it blow up internally. I dont show my anger or pain on the outside. I dont other to worry about me. I can take care of myself. Bibik, Omm when are you coming back from london. Miss you guys. You guys are the only people whom I feel comfortable enough to let go everything inside of me. Even my parents dont come as close as u guys. I wanna see my little cousins again, Hannah, Thoriq and Sofea. Miss them loads... *tears rolling*

Oh man im so emotional today. FUCK IT who cares anyway. NO one cares, when it comes to Syafiq. Because he can take care of himself. He's a natural leader. He's so strong. He's SUPERMAN. Yeah right.... super my ass.


FYI
*mScope is the product being set up by my company and the school is buying it.


FUCK IT......

-blog out-